28 types of Twitter users you probably follow

I've had a Twitter account since October 16, 2008. Behold, humans, my first tweet: "downloading music/working on annotated bibliography!" My next tweet was on April 20, 2009: "is really confused by this twiter thing." For about the first three years of my Twitter account, I would occasionally, blissfully tweet whatever my heart so desired. I followed maybe ten people, mostly celebrities, and went on my account whenever Facebook was giving me the peeves. 

That was then. I'm a different woman now.

In my year and a half of being a self-proclaimed expert tweeter, I have started following more accounts. I have also grabbed a couple more followers, and I pity those poor souls who willingly subject themselves to my ridiculous brain. This post is dedicated to them.

I came up with 28 different Twitterers. Take a deep breath:

1. The one who tweets to celebrites every day. I do not follow these people. They make me angry right in my very bones.

2. The one who tweets to Justin Bieber every day. This is a whole new type of crazy.

3.The one who tweets many a giveaway.

4. The blogger who only uses Twitter to promote their newest blog post.

5. The blogger who only uses Twitter to promote their newest blog post......five or more times a day.

6. The one who live-tweets their entire life.

7. The #one who #hashtags every #word they #think will grab them #new #followers.

8. The one who engages in Twitter fights.  I do not understand this kind of person. When I get into arguments, I usually have more to say than can fit in 140 characters.

9. The one who participates in trending topics.

10. The one who uses Twitter as a journal. (Twitter is not the new Facebook, dumbs)

11. The random who has over 10,000 followers and you cannot figure out how that even happened

12. The one who follows the One Direction boys. (me)

13. The one who plays the follow/unfollow game like their life depended on it.

14. The one who uses emojis. I like these ones.

15. The one who includes punctuation in their hashtags. It may be slightly OCD of me, but it drives me nuts to only see half of a smooshed together sentence linked. #twitteristheonlyplacewedon'tusecorrectpunctuation. See?? Stop doing it.

16. The one who retweets everything. In other words, the one I promptly unfollow.

17. The one whose entire Twitter feed is Instagram links.

18. The prolific tweeter who has a grand total of 16 followers....mostly bots.

19. The one who tweets deliciously inappropriate subject matter.

20. The one who tweets lyrics. I do this one.

21. #theonewhohashtagstheirentiretweet

22. The one who crowd sources for reliable information. #thatswhywehavegoogle

23. The one who cryptic tweets.

24. The one who tweets about Twitter. See also: Facebooking about Facebook, blogging about blogs

25. The one who hate-tweets.

26. The one who sub-tweets. (I don't even know what this one is, but I hear it all the time.)

27. The one who strives to be the first one to tweet about any national tragedy.*

28. The one who uses multiple tweets to get across one thought. I am confused.

So, do you agree? Which ones do you fall into? Don't worry, I definitely do at least 1/3 of these things, so I won't judge you. Probably.

Also in my Social Media Users series:

46 different kinds of Facebook users

39 MORE kinds of Facebook users

25 different kinds of Instagram users

According to Pinterest, I will be the worst mom ever

I am a blogging outcast

Things I have learned because of Pinterest

*Please know I originally wrote this post last Thursday. In light of yesterday's tragic tornados, I have donated $10 to Red Cross yesterday by texting REDCROSS to 90999.

I had a radical time this weekend by doing hardly anything.

What did I do this weekend? Well I will tell you.

It was a perfectly lazy weekend. It involved a lot of rain, lots of Michael Buble, and lots of laying around doing nothing practical.

It's true. Friday night, I woke up around 1:30 a.m. with a throbbing somethin' fierce in one of my toes and a creaky left shoulder. So then I took some Ibuprofen, turned on Grey's Anatomy to take my mind off the pain, and promptly fell back asleep. I was expecting to be a little older than twenty-one when my aches and pains woke me up in the middle night, but it's not a grey hair, so I'll take it.

Saturday I woke up at ten o'clock. Ten o'clock. I have been known to sleep past noon on a regular basis, but as of late I can hardly sleep past eight-thirty. But this weekend I was prepared. I finagled my blinds to let in as little light as possible, turned off my phone (ahhh, bliss), and of course was knocked out by that quality Ibuprofen. It was heaven.

Later on, I accompanied my roommate to the car wash and that turned into an impromptu trip to the thrift store. Last week, I discovered that it was not Mormon standards to have your shorts go to your knees. That's just the blasted BYU standard. I, who have stuck it out in jeans in the hottest of summers, went and bought my first mid-length pair of shorts this weekend. For three dollars. Three dollars! They are fabulous and light and navy blue. I think I'm in love with them. And since they were thrifted, I'm still on par with my 2013 resolution to go the entire year without buying any new clothing. (Almost six months in, you guys!!)

At thrift stores, I am drawn to the old lady clothes of the world. I couldn't tell you why, but I love picking up the most hideous pair of gingham, ankle-length pants and throwing them in my cart. In fact, I found a pair today, but they were high waisted, and let me tell you exactly how little high-waisted pants do for my frame. I've got the makings of a serious Mom-butt, people.

Anyway, I made it out of Goodwill with nothing but my $3 pair of mid-length shorts. I may have watched more movies than there are days in the weekend, but we're still gonna call it a win on that $3 purchase alone. Amen.

And because I am finally getting with the times and actively making an effort to include a picture with every post, here you are:

Our floor is stinky.

Are you fresh out of things to write about on your blog? Friends, I am here to help.

I occasionally mention that I have about about 150 random drafts that I publish in my private blog, to keep things cleaner in my Oh... This is Awkward blog. I have this horrible habit of moving from idea to idea rather quickly, writing it down, moving on, and never coming back to it.

In fact, I was in the middle of fleshing out different post than this one when suddenly I got this idea to just purge all of my pathetic half-idea into the voids of cyberspace. I probably came back to this post several times before I finished it. It's how I work. I'm a scatterbrained mess.

Anyways, if you're completely dry when it comes to new ideas, I've got your back. I can't promise that these ideas are worth much, because obviously I barely even started. But who even knows. I'm posting them anyway.

1. Car accidents
2. I don't have time for social media
3. Driving in Utah is the worst idea
4. Here are some songs that I listen to when I am sad
5. Where do I work? Okay, I will tell you
6. Things I want to do before I die
7. USGA is the bomb
8. Stupid Pinterest trends (I actually finished and published this one)
9. Let me tell you a story about my dancing abilities
10. How blogging has changed my life
11. Hunger Games....but for superheroes
12. How I, Jennifer Ann Larson, am turning into my parents (Published this too!)
13. Blogging tips and tricks
14. My heart was broken and I don't know why
15. I have severe avoidance issues
16. I LOVE BACK TO SCHOOL SEASON
17. Weirdo trends that my high school had
18. This thing called "personal style" is laughable....I do not have it
19. Why ovaries are awesome
20. IT"S NOVEMBER FIRST! I CAN FINALLY START LISTENING TO CHRISTMAS MUSIC WITHOUT JUDGEMENT!!
21. The difference between teenagers and young adults
22. Post honeymoon
23. Common misconceptions about what I might be like in real life (published)
24. Who were you in high school?
25. I know a girl who got engaged in twenty days
26. The difference between California and Utah drivers
27. I have recently come to the conclusion that The Avengers if the equivalent of what porn must be for men
28. This is the story of how I almost died
29. Chronicles of the mysterious engaged roommates
30. Different kinds of bloggers

Phew. All done. I will have you know that this is about 1/5 of the random posts I have stashed away somewhere, not to mention the random words and weird, autocorrected sentences that I have written in the notes app on my iPhone. It's so, so bad. 

I don't have a clue about how copyright/ownership laws work for ideas, but I hereby release all ownership on aforementioned blogging subjects. Do I even have to do that? Merp. Well, if one speaks to you, have at it. And then link me to it because I want to read it.

I also think it is important to tell you that I finished this post in one straight shot. I never do this, so celebrations are probably in order. Go me.

PS This is an accurate illustration of how my brain works.

If you really knew me, you would know an awful lot of weirdo things.

Hello, friends! I realize the 'if you really knew me' trend is long past us , but I was scrolling through my private blog (the one where I have hundreds of half-written posts published so they stop clogging up my Oh... This is Awkward drafts) and found a post that had one sentence written: "if you really knew me". And since I am habitually late to blog trends, I thought I'd partake in this one. Better late than never, eh?

You'd know I have a mole my right ankle that I despise more than almost anything in this world.

You'd know that I won't listen to Chris Brown's music.

You'd know that I have quite a few friends, but only several really know me. The rest just know lots of stuff about me.

You'd know that I have been in a perpetual state of growing my hair out since my freshman year of high school.

You'd know that I don't cry very often.

You'd know that when I do cry, I want to be left alone. You'd also know that I tend to leave other people alone when they are upset too, which sometimes makes people feel alienated from me.

You'd know that I get extremely attached to people, usually men, and almost always in non-romantic ways.

You'd know that I get anxiety from listening to my voice mails, so I usually just let them pile up and then delete them all at once.

You'd know when I compliment someone's appearance, I say "You are so beautiful!" instead of "You look so pretty!" I see a big difference between the two.

You'd know I flirt with lots of guys, but only when it doesn't mean anything. I can't flirt with people I'm actually interested in. This proves to be problematic.

You'd know I try to stick up for people worth sticking up for. That includes myself.

You'd know I don't really like touching other people. I hate running into old friends because I always feel obligated to hug them and never feel the desire to. If I initiate hugging you, it means that I love you. Escalated a bit quickly there, but that's how I operate.

You'd know I don't wear eyeliner.

You'd know that my favorite joke of all time is when someone says, "It smells like random smell in here!" I will always follow up with a " random person in the room farted." I think it's hilarious and laugh every time I say it. Smells like baking bread in here? Liz farted. Smells like grass? It was Shaina. Every time. So funny.

You'd know that I'm a flake. Most of the time I don't really feel bad about it.

You'd know that 90% of my wardrobe is bright colors. You'd also know that 75% of my skirts and dresses don't go past my knee, much to my parents' chagrin. You'd also know that I don't really care.

You'd know that I have more of my future home decor planned than my future wedding.

You'd know I like befriending the socially awkward people of the universe. I consider myself fairly socially adept, but my heart belongs with the people so desperate for interaction and no idea how to go about it.

You'd know that self confidence has never really been an issue for me. I think this is largely because of how my parents raised me and I am grateful for it.

You'd know that the older I get, the more liberal I become. Which really is a very moderate stance with a slight lean to the left, but in Mormonville USA, it sort of freaks people out.

You'd know that I can make realistic fart noises with my mouth and do so often. I usually forget that other people don't realize they are fake.

You'd know I don't engage in arguments if at all possible. Part of this is because it exhausts me and the other part is because as a teenager, I was really good at arguing and even better at throwing out things intended just to hurt others. I don't think I can hurl insults at people quite as well now as I could when I was fifteen, but I'd prefer not to find out.

You'd know that I despise the s-word above all other swear words.

You'd know that I consider waking up probably in the top five hardest things I do on a regular basis. I get 7-8 hours of sleep every night and I still hate it.

and lastly.....

I don't like it when people bash the president. I stay pretty mum about most political issues, but I absolutely cannot stand when people hate on the president. Democrat or Republican, he is our president and probably doing the best he can, and I think he deserves respect. No one like Bush. No one likes Obama. It's getting old.

For your weekend

New Twitter friends

The Sims Problems - As a former Sims player, I cracked up when I followed this account a couple weeks ago.

Life Pro Tips - I think this is my favorite non-human account atfer Ash Ketch'ums! I just found them last week and basically they just post a lot of interesting advice and ideas fairly regularly. Not a lot of repetition. Highly recommend them.

Blog posts to read

10 things a blogger should never do - Spot on. I even added it to my blogging 101 list in my sidebar.

The 411 on Mormons - Bonnie so eloquently explained different Mormon beliefs that get a lot of question marks. It actually inspired me to write a post on what I personally believe, which I'm still trying to decide if I want to publish or not. Anyway, it's a great read, especially if you're not LDS.

Hyperbole and a Half - HOMEGIRL IS BACK!!! I discovered her blog almost three years ago and she hasn't posted for about eighteen months. Her newest post is about her depression and it resonates with me. When she writes, "No, see, I don't necessarily want to kill myself....I just want to be dead somehow.", I totally get that. Allie is one of the funniest bloggers out there, and I think she offers a lot of insight to people who have never experienced depression. Be warned, there are several swears, but it's a very touching post. And when you're done with that, go read the rest of her blog because it is the funniest thing ever.

Rules for Life - The Bloggess, whose name is Jenny Lawson (I'm Jennie Larson if you forgot), is one of the funniest people out there. She wrote twenty rules for life this past week which was true and also chuckle-worthy. There's a couple swears in this one too, but that's just part of her charm.

In the news

I'm sure many of you have heard about the Abercrombie + Fitch CEO say some pretty awful things about women who can't fit into his clothes. I think the interview is far too brash and obnoxious to be unplanned. I think more than likely this whole thing was a big PR stint to get people talking about his company again. It was cool like five years ago, and now it is not, and they want the skinny, beautiful, cool teenagers to start shopping there again. I really wish people would stop talking about about the interview, because all it is is free publicity for a bad company, and that was the point of the interview in the first place. 

Elizabeth Smart gave a speech that's gotten a lot of attention this week about how she is against abstinence-only sex education. Once time I wrote a twenty-page paper on abstinence-only versus comprehensive sex education program. I am overwhelmingly for comprehensive education. It was interesting to hear her opinion on this issue.

For your jam sessions

Where I Stood // Missy Higgins - I believe this song was written about a mother giving her child up for adoption. I heard it for the first time a couple weeks ago and I can't get enough of it.

She's Not Afraid // One Direction - I have the One Direction Infection badbadbad. They are the cutest boys of my entire life and I have a little crush on all of them except the blonde one and the one with short hair. Anyway, this song has been on repeat for like three solid days. Sorry, roommates.

To Be Loved // Michael Buble - I bought this entire album last week. Michael's voice has a special place in my heart right next to Frank Sinatra's and John Rzeznik's. You should own the album too.

>>>I hope this gives you at least five minutes of entertainment this weekend. I don't normally post on Fridays, or any day really, but I just found a lot of interesting stuff that I wanted to share! I'm thinking about making this a semi-regular feature. We will see.

Have fun and HAPPY FREAKING WEEKEND! I hope you go on grand adventures. As for me, I'll be in my bedroom, making no noise and pretending I don't exist. Over and out.

9 months!

Nine months ago today, Rob left for his mission to Frankfurt, Germany.
I honestly can't believe time could go by this fast, but it is, and I love it.

Not only is he now 3/8ths done with his mission (three more months and he'll hit the halfway point.....what.), but I get to talk to him in three days!!!!

I never knew Mother's Day was one of my favorite holidays until three days ago. So stoked.

Miss this guy like you wouldn't believe. Love him.

How I, Jennifer Ann Larson, am turning into my parents.

I used to swear I would never turn into my parents. Now, at the ripe old age of twenty-one,  I keep doing things the exact way they also do them. My teenage self hates me. Here's why:

1. Light conservation is a big thing for me. It seems to be common sense-- if you're leaving the room, turn off the dang light. Apparently not all people got this memo, but when I was little my dad would take out a light bulb from our vanity every time the light was left on. Now it's an unconscious thing to turn off all the lights. Utilities are included in my rent, so I don't pay my electricity bill, but I really hate it when people aren't in a room and all their lights are on.

2. I locked my car everywhere. Even my house. Even at church. I have friends that leave their keys in the ignition when they go into the store. I don't even know if people steal cars in Provo. I'd rather be safe than sorry.

3. I have literally no patience for excuses. I don't care why the job isn't done, just fix the problem and finish. Thanks for that one, Dad.

4. I pack my grocery cart identical to my mom. Potatoes on the bottom, cans and bottles towards the back of the cart, and all fruit in the basket. I didn't realize this until about six months ago, but I totally do it.

5. I buy things just because they're a good deal and not necessarily because I need them. I just can't resist cutesy little items that I don't even need for an out-of-this-world price. Luckily, 2013 is my year of buying no new clothes, so I'm getting better at this.

6. I fall asleep during movies. THIS ONE IS MY MOM. I bet you I could count on one hand how many times she's stayed awake watching a movie in all of 2012. I'd probably even have extra fingers left. Like four of them.

7. I talk in my sleep. This is a new development. Stay tuned. One time I was taking a nap on my couch and I said to my roommate, "Do you think Fred* is a boob man or a butt man?" In an unrelated note, I eventually told Fred about this question my subconscious has, and he told me he was a butt man. So that's that.

8. Back to the grocery store, I have never in my life sampled a grape or any other produce that is purchased by weight. I think this one is partially my mother's doing, but mostly I read a Junie B Jones book about that when I was seven years old and it changed my life. I do, however, occasionally eat the butt of some French bread before I buy it. My mom did that when we were little too.

9. I wake up in a panic every night, remembering all the things I need to do. I think this one is more from being an adult and having adult stressors in my life, but thanks for that one too, Mom.

10. I go bed at a reasonable hour every night. I was notorious in high school for going to sleep around 11 or 12 and waking up by 5 or 5:30 every day for seminary. In college, I celebrated night owl life by going to sleep in all hours of the morning and getting a solid 8 or 9 hours every night. Now as a twenty-one year old, I cringe if the clock reads 11:30 and I'm not in bed yet. I aim to get my butt in bed by 10:30 every night. I am turning into my mom....


It's really okay though. My parents are awesome people and I wouldn't mind being a carbon copy of my mother when I'm in my forties. The end.

The Price is Right

Why are my parents so much cooler than me?

I just can't even with these people.

I took some pictures and posted them on the internet (III)

April has absolutely flown by for me. I feel like I blinked and the month is already 3/4 over. Is this what it feels like to be an adult? I don't think I like it.

I try not to apologize for not updating my blog when I go through dry spells, but I'm going to go ahead and apologize for this one. I've barely even logged on to Blogger the last couple of weeks, which means I haven't  been reading your blogs either! It's becoming a problem. I am sorry!

Anyway, I am BEYOND EXCITED for summer, not unlike the rest of the blogging community. I'll be sticking around Utah, but since I'm working a regular 9-5 job this summer and not a sicknasty 1 p.m. to 9 p.m. shift with every other Saturday/Sunday, I'll actually be able to play with my friends, which I plan on doing a lot of. I'm moving apartments this weekend, so I probably won't be around much for the rest of the week (like I ever am), but stick around because I've got like 17 drafts just collecting dust in my account.

I've officially decided to start school again this fall, which means I'll be taking classes at good ol' Utah Valley University. I am thrilled for that as well, because as much as I don't miss Rexburg, I certainly miss the classes that I took at BYU-Idaho...a lot. I can't wait to be back on a college campus.

Utah, can you finally be warm please? I am still wearing my stupid winter coat and it is April 23rd. But in other news, I already have a tan and it's only April 23rd, so I guess things could be worse.

So. In conclusion, April was busy, I only updated my blog three times this month, I am excited for summer and for school in the fall, and I want it to be warm right now. My life is pretty boring these days always, but I took pictures of the less boring parts and want you to look at them and be jealous of me. Carry on.

You can see parts one and two here.

Also, can you link to your favorite blogs or your personal blog in the comment section? I mass-unfollowed a bunch of blogs about six months ago and I am lacking in fun blogs to read.

The FAQ about Oh... This Is Awkward. (Part Two)

Well hello, new humans. There are like six more of you around these days, and I feel like I should give you a big, fat welcome to my awkward life.

 Last summer, I decided to write and answer an FAQ from questions I felt everyone was so eager to know about me, but too intimidated to ask. Today I felt like it was a good day to post part two. You are so welcome.

How did you come up with such a clever name for your blog?
I prayed about it and was so inspired.


What kind of camera do you use?
I use my iPhone and various Instagram filters, like the true photographic prodigy I am. But I also have a purple point-and-shoot in somewhere in my room.


Are you going to see the One Direction movie this summer?
Unabashedly yes.


Is your life really as perfect as it seems?
Yes.


What is your zombie Apocalypse escape plan?
I would die while trying to get to Target, I just know it.


How would you react if GOMI ever posted about you?
I'd probably read it, be sad, remember that you can't please everyone, and then write a condescending, yet witty blog post to win them over. It wouldn't work, but I'd feel better about the whole thing.


What's your favorite episode of Friends?
The One Where No One's Ready. Season three.


Why do you not talk about poop or politics on your blog?
I don't like internet fighting. I find it exhausting and unproductive. In the past I have come out as a democrat and will occasionally post my thoughts about certain LDS issues, but overall I don't consider a blog to be an appropriate platform to say many political or religious things. I'm only twenty-one and my ideas and opinions are still forming, so I try to listen more than speak. Also poop is gross, and no one wants to hear about that.


Did you cry on your 21st birthday?
Yes.


Why aren't you married yet?
I ask myself that question every day.


If you could see any music group in concert, who would it be?
Goo Goo Dolls, Matchbox Twenty, Michael Buble, and Kelly Clarkson. Guess which one I'm going to see perform live this summer? Oh.......all of them. Ain't no thang.


How did you come up with such great questions to ask yourself?
I don't know. The only plausible explanation is that I must be a FAQ genius.


If you're really dead set on finding more about me, you can read up on my semi-haitused Yousday Tuesday. It's a whole bunch of useless fluff that you probably would never care to know, yet I took the time to write out anyway. Ha!