Some newlywed advice for you!

Well hello there friends! Today I am having some issues distinguishing between my homophones, so I'll keep it short as to not embarrass the former English major in me.

Today I've got some marriage advice for you all. Yes, I am aware that I am not married, but here it goes: don't change your relationship status on Facebook the day you get married, always check the up/down status of the toilet seat before you pee, and have sex, because let's be honest....that sounds like fun. Sorry, Dad.

Also maybe I have some more marriage advice from you, and don't worry, it's not from me. It is from my Twitter friend, Paige! She's been married for all of sixty days and let me tell you, she's got this matrimony thing in the bee-ay-gee, BAG! Behold, my children, read and be enlightened:




Hellooooo awkward readers! My name is Paige and I blog at Eloping Stethoscope where I talk about all the newlywed misadventures my husband and I experience and all of my embarrassing nursing moments! And there are a lot of them, trust me.
But today, I'm guest posting for one of the most awesome bloggers in the blog world because for some reason she asked for guest posts. I really actually have no idea why. I assume she's going on a secret mission.
Since I'm a newlywed of 2 months, I have obviously wracked up some truly brilliant marriage advice. 

This is me and my awesome husband Cody, henceforth known as Cody the Awesome.

And I am going to tell you why having him around is awesome. In list form, because who doesn't like lists?

Reason Number 1 that he's awesome is that when I have a headache and am generally acting pitiful and pathetic, pills magically appear in my hand. 

Now, this isn't really magic, it's Cody the Awesome bringing me the magic headache taking away pills!

Reason Number 2 is that when the super glue gets mad at you and glues itself shut,

he uses his teeth to open it

and when that doesn't work

Cody the Awesome uses pliers

because for some reason, my hands didn't want to make the pliers work right.

Reason Number 3 is that he cooks. Girls, always find a man that cooks. He makes some really awesome stuff. Like Bacon Chicken Ranch Pasta.

Reason Number 4 is that whenever my car messes up, he's around to fix it. So I don't have to beg the guys at Autozone anymore! Yay!
Reason Number 5 is that when it's time for that time of the month he actually puts up with all the griping and whining and moaning that I do. See? He really is awesome.
Number 6 is that I literally have my best friend sleeping over every night. And sometimes, there's cookies involved. Sometimes there's beer involved. Sometimes there's wine involved. We like to mix it up.
Number 7 would have to be that he puts up with my crazy family...and trust me, they are crazy. So crazy, that I can't even post about them on the internet. Let's just say that every vacation pretty much turns in to the vacation from hell and he doesn't even get mad!
Number 8 is that he makes me laugh until I cry. Literally. He's one of the funniest people I know. See Exhibit 1 and Exhibit 2.
Number 9 is that Cody the Awesome is more sarcastic than I am so my sarcastic comments don't hurt him very much.
The number 10 reason that he's awesome is I never have to worry about finding someone to take home. I have the single sexiest man on earth already in bed with me. Yes, I went there!
So, see? Being married really is awesome! You just have to look past all the hair around your bathroom sink, jeans thrown on the floor and shaving cream spots on the mirror to find all the really amazing stuff!


I have a confession. There is hair in my bathroom sink and jeans thrown on my floor regardless and I'm not even married. So basically, I'm all set, right? Cool.
Also, yes, I am going on a secret mission. A secret mission to California where I will do nothing except for play with my family and friends. Dare I say it? Okay, I'll dare. It's even cooler than the blogging world. GAAAAAAASP. 
Indeed I am on vacation. And I've racked up a couple of my blog friends and real life besties to write some posts for me in my absence. I dearly love them and I know you will too. Regular posting will resume on August 20th, which I know sounds soooo far away, but don't worry, we will get there eventually. And if you just can't bear to be apart from me for the next ten days, you can always follow me on Twitter, because I'm afraid that is the only form of social media I will be participating on while I'm gone. Guys, we'll get through this one together. Let us all press on.