Today I've got some marriage advice for you all. Yes, I am aware that I am not married, but here it goes: don't change your relationship status on Facebook the day you get married, always check the up/down status of the toilet seat before you pee, and have sex, because let's be honest....that sounds like fun. Sorry, Dad.
Also maybe I have some more marriage advice from you, and don't worry, it's not from me. It is from my Twitter friend, Paige! She's been married for all of sixty days and let me tell you, she's got this matrimony thing in the bee-ay-gee, BAG! Behold, my children, read and be enlightened:
This is me and my awesome husband Cody, henceforth known as Cody the Awesome.
And I am going to tell you why having him around is awesome. In list form, because who doesn't like lists?
Reason Number 1 that he's awesome is that when I have a headache and am generally acting pitiful and pathetic, pills magically appear in my hand.
Now, this isn't really magic, it's Cody the Awesome bringing me the magic headache taking away pills!
Reason Number 2 is that when the super glue gets mad at you and glues itself shut,
he uses his teeth to open it
and when that doesn't work
Cody the Awesome uses pliers
because for some reason, my hands didn't want to make the pliers work right.
Reason Number 3 is that he cooks. Girls, always find a man that cooks. He makes some really awesome stuff. Like Bacon Chicken Ranch Pasta.